On January 31st, I will have my second surgery. My first surgery was a laparoscopy for endo, but this surgery is for my IC symptoms.
I will be having a cystoscopy with hydrodistention. This is not my first cystoscopy, but this will be a much more invasive procedure. If you would like, you can read about my first cystoscopy here. Thankfully, I will be given anesthesia this time!
I am very worried about this procedure. I had surgery just under 2 months ago and worry that I may put my body through too much, since I will have a robotic laparoscopy in the spring that will last several hours (more on that in another post).
On a recent doctor's visit, I was told that I will most likely be sent home with a catheter after the hydrodistention surgery. Ever since being told that, I have been very upset.
I do not know why I should be sent home with a catheter. Why can't they keep me overnight or as long as needed for my bladder to heal before sending me home? As much as I want to feel relief and to get back to work, I will not go to work in the shape that I am in.
I am putting myself through so much to "feel better." I know that I am not alone, but I am very scared. This whole experience has been terrifying.
As the days get closer to surgery #2, I am getting more and more nervous. I am even more scared for my upcoming surgery then I was for my laparoscopy. I also have been experiencing anxiety and depression. I am in pain, nauseous and weak all of the time. I swear that my endo is spreading so much that it is pushing on the nerves in my back. I keep getting a painful tingling sensation in my back.
I am also missing my parents and sisters. I wish that they could be here for my upcoming surgeries, but I know that it isn't a possibility. I have my husband, and he has been amazing through this whole experience. I am so thankful for him.
I am also missing my parents and sisters. I wish that they could be here for my upcoming surgeries, but I know that it isn't a possibility. I have my husband, and he has been amazing through this whole experience. I am so thankful for him.
Please keep me in your prayers. I am trying very hard to remain strong. But, even the best fall down sometimes.
Maybe if I have a good cry, I will feel better.
xo Heather
Maybe if I have a good cry, I will feel better.
xo Heather
I am so sorry to hear that you have to go for more surgery. They are terrifying. I know for me, the last one (#7) was enough and I just knew there had to be a different way.
ReplyDeleteI have been focusing on my digestion as my angle for cleansing this year and am planning on a massive detox session next week. If you feel up to it, we could do it together :)
Hugs sweets. I know how you feel.