Fertility Diary: RE Consultation

Tyler, my husband and I had our first meeting with the Reproductive Endocrinologist last Wednesday (January 9, 2013). I will get back to the consultation in a moment, but first I want to share something with you.

The night before the RE consultation, my 19 year old sister called me with news that I was not prepared for – she called to tell me that she was expecting. A million emotions ran through my head, and I feel guilty to admit that they were not all good thoughts.

All night long, I tossed and turned trying to heal my hurt. I even had a good cry before my consultation.

The next afternoon, Tyler and I arrived to meet Dr. Amols – who is an amazing doctor. After we discussed our history of trying to conceive, I received the bad news. Dr. Amols told me that I have four issues working against me, right off the top. These issues are the fact that I have not had any pregnancies in four years, endometriosis, irregular periods, and a tilted uterus.

I begin testing to determine my ability to become pregnant next week then will meet with Dr. Amols to discuss options available to us, if there are any. I feel really confident that he will try everything he can do to help my husband and I start a family, but I am leaving it up to God.

My health insurance also only covers 80% of the testing. After the testing, my medical insurance does not help with any of the options, so everything will be out of pocket. So whatever these options are will have to be carefully considered financially, since I will undergo three surgeries this year.

I do not understand why God had chosen for me to learn of my sister’s baby news at that exact moment in time. Prior to the phone call, I was laying on the couch praying to God for a good consultation appointment while trying to come to peace with the fact that I may not be able to conceive. Why now? I had never been jealous, envious, or bitter towards my sister up until that moment. I am still struggling with the fact that I am so hurt by the news that my sister is pregnant. In recent years, I have become angry and upset at learning of other woman becoming pregnant, but this is a new low for me to be unhappy with my sister.

xo Heather

Image Credit: Jenna Marbles, Good Reads